Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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