it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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