summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
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Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
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My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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