worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
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Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
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She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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