Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize