Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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