and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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