im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I cockslap morals
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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