Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize