Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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