i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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