Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize