Im at strip club and am horny
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
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I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
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I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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