There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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