So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
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I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
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it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
MIDGETS
????
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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