absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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