i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
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What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
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plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My life is pants optional.
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