got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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