i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We were destined to go to rehab together
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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