...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
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GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
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I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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