i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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