I just gift wrapped bread.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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