I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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