do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize