i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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