Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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