I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize