lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
NoShamevember. You game?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize