we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
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Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
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If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I would ride that face into the sunset
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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