i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
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Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
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I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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