Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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