You're completely useless in the revolution.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize