I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize