yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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