Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
