if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize