My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
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