we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
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walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
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I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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