just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
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No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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