just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize