And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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