I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
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He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
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Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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