I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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