dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize