Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
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I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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