just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize