I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You brought string cheese to the strip club
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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