Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize