it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't deserve a penis
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize