I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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