Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize